


It's a long way forward (so trust in me)

by aphrodaisyacs



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Alternate Universe- Natasha Lives, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Fix-It, Gen, POV Natasha Romanov, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-25 21:57:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19754578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aphrodaisyacs/pseuds/aphrodaisyacs
Summary: Prompt:A prompt should you feel so inclined because you are just that great of a writer I believe that Clint and Natasha actually do love each other what with the arrow necklace she had at one point, her breaking him from Loki’s mind control and the tussle they had over who was going to die to get the soul stone and neither was going to let the other do it. I read that in the original completed script, it was actually Hawkeye who went over the edge, not Widow. How would that have played out?In which Natasha loses the most important person in her life, and soldiers on in the only way she knows how.





	It's a long way forward (so trust in me)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to the anon who gave me this prompt. It’s my first ever prompt so like the attention-starved fool I am I abandoned all my other WIPs to do this one
> 
> Title from [Shelter by Porter Robinson](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzQ6gRAEoy0)

_No._

She miscalculated.

Natasha tightens her grip on Clint, and pulls at the rope with renewed desperation.

“Nat, stop-”

“Come on, work with me, Clint. We’re finding another way to get the Stone.”

“You know this is the least I can do.”

“No. That’s not how it-”

“Nat.”

The steel in his voice stops her. And she _knows._

He’s made up his mind.

“No,” she finds herself pleading. “Please don’t.”

But Clint only shakes his head.

“It’s okay.” His smile is sad. “I trust you.”

Then he kicks off the cliff, and Natasha can only watch through tear-filled eyes as her best friend plunges down, down through the cold-beaten darkness.

*

She wakes up.

She’s lying in a shallow lake as cold and unforgiving as the rest of Vormir. The red sky glares accusingly at her when she sits up, and that’s when she realises she’s holding something rock-shaped.

She opens her palm, revealing an orange glow. It reminds her of the warmth of Clint’s smile and the strong, reassuring grip of his hand on the way to Vormir.

_“We’re a long way from Budapest.”_

Natasha closes her eyes and lets the tears fall.

At least they both made it out of Budapest alive.

* * *

They’re staring at her, she can tell- at her damp clothes, her wind-beaten hair, her eyes haunted with guilt. 

Her solitude.

“Nat, where’s Clint?”

She can only avert her gaze. Her silence tells them everything they need to know.

They mourn him the way they had mourned the loved ones they had lost in The Snap- quietly and briefly. They’ve already lost so much to Thanos. They _can’t_ let Clint’s sacrifice be in vain.

A part of her wants to believe that Thor is right, that they can bring Clint back along with everyone else.

But… 

_An everlasting exchange._

_A soul, for a soul._

(It should’ve been her)

* * *

When Bruce snaps his fingers, the world doesn’t explode and the universe doesn’t disintegrate them.

Barring the anxious buzz around Bruce, everything goes quiet. 

Until several heartbeats later, when a faint humming sound cuts through the room.

She frowns when she realises it’s from a silenced phone, but her stomach drops when she sees the caller ID. 

_It worked,_ she realises, staring at Laura’s radiant smile from Clint’s phone. 

_It worked._

Her fingers hover above the screen, but she stops. This is supposed to be a moment where Clint reunites with his family. 

It’s her fault that they won’t get the chance.

_Hi Laura_ , she knows she should say. _It’s been five years since you were gone. I’m really sorry to tell you but Clint sacrificed himself to bring everyone back._

_I’m sorry._

_(It should’ve been me)_

* * *

“Father. I have the stones.”

Natasha tenses. 

She _knew_ something seemed off about Nebula. 

Nebula tries to kick her, but Natasha is faster- she aims a sweeping kick at Nebula’s knees, causing her to cry out in pain as her legs fold out from beneath her.

“Stop!”

By the time they look up at the intruder, Natasha’s electric baton is pressed against Nebula’s neck and Nebula has her gun pressed against Natasha’s stomach.

Two unlikely figures emerge from the crimson darkness, and Natasha can’t help but stare.

The last thing she expects to witness is a standoff between two Nebulas and their supposedly dead sister so tense that they completely forget about her presence. 

“You’re betraying us?” says the first Nebula.

“You don’t have to do this,” the second Nebula pleads.

**_(“I don’t want to fight with you.”)_ **

“I am… this.”

_(“But I have to.”)_

“No, you’re not.”

**_(“You don’t.”)_ **

“You’ve seen what we become.”

**_(“You can be better than this. I know you want to be.”)_ **

“Nebula, listen to her.”

**_(“Please.”)_ **

“You can change.”

**_(“Come with me.”)_ **

The first Nebula’s eyes glisten with tears and hesitation, and Natasha realises she’s looking at her past.

She steps back and lowers her baton.

“You can,” she says. “I know what it’s like, to be raised completely under someone’s control. You’ve never known any different so it feels like you don’t have a choice. But you do. You’ll always have a choice that isn’t Thanos.”

“She’s right,” the second Nebula says, also lowering her weapon. “You can choose people who don’t treat you like a weapon.”

“And you won’t be facing him alone,” Gamora adds, taking cautious steps forward.

The first Nebula has her mouth pressed into a thin line, and she slowly shakes her head. Her grip on her gun visibly tightens.

From the corner of her eye Natasha sees the other Nebula raising her gun again.

“It’s okay,” Natasha quickly says. “It’s okay. It’ll be hard to break free from him. But you won’t be able to if you don’t even try.”

The first Nebula lowers her head. And then finally, she lowers her gun as well.

It clatters loudly against the metal ground.

Decades ago, Natalia Romanova dropped her weapons and followed Agent Barton through the doors of SHIELD. Now Natasha stands where Clint once stood, watching the first Nebula get enveloped in an awkward embrace by Gamora. The sisters are obviously unused to the gesture, but now they have time to learn, just like Natasha did.

_Isn’t it funny?_

_I’m doing your job now._

* * *

Out of the entire universe, only a few can use the Gauntlet without dying.

Thanos. 

Bruce. 

(Maybe Thor)

And as Danvers streaks through the sky like a golden comet, Natasha knows she belongs on the list too.

So when Natasha and the other women gather in a protective circle around Danvers and the Gauntlet, she knows it’s time for her to set her plan in motion.

“Think you’re strong enough to use that thing?” 

Danvers furrows her brows and turns the Gauntlet over in her hands.

“Yeah,” she finally replies, with enough confidence to ease the growing knot in Natasha’s chest.

“Good,” she says. “Just think about getting rid of Thanos and his army, then snap your fingers, okay?”

Danvers nods.

“Roger that.”

Natasha purses her lips into a tense smile.

“Good luck.”

With the other women by her side, she fights. Outrider after Outrider, Chitauri after Chitauri. All to buy time for Danvers. 

Natasha is in the midst of electrocuting an Outrider when her peripheral vision suddenly explodes with light. The body of her enemy collapses, and she can see:

Danvers’ struggle against the Stones’ power coursing through her, burning her veins, swallowing her whole-

Then she hears:

The snap of fingers, resonating through the battlefield.

* * *

The bruises on Danvers’ arm are still healing by the time they hold Clint’s funeral.

On a quiet morning in the woods near their home, Laura places his bow and arrows in his empty coffin and hold the children tight as they cry. His friends get to mourn him properly this time, and Steve and Tony even take it upon themselves to bury the coffin. Even those who never got to know him, as Hawkeye or Clint Barton, have their heads hung low in respect for the man who sacrificed himself to undo Thanos’ massacre. 

Natasha silently watches his burial with red-rimmed eyes. She thought she had already done her share of crying on Vormir, but that was just another thing she’d been wrong about. The least upsetting thing crossing her mind at the moment is the question of what Clint would think of his own funeral. She tries to imagine his shocked face at the sheer number of aliens attending it, and it’s almost enough to make her smile.

“Thank you for taking care of him,” Laura says, after it is all over. She’s still wiping her eyes, and Natasha immediately draws her close to a hug.

“No,” Natasha murmurs. “It’s my fault. It should’ve been me.”

She feels Laura shake her head against her shoulder.

“No. I know you. And I know Clint.” Laura draws away and looks at Natasha with a gaze that’s still watery, but firm.

“He made his choice to live this kind of life. And he made his choice to save the world.”

Natasha takes a deep, steadying breath, then sighs.

“Yeah. He’s a stupidly selfless man.” 

She turns away to look at the fresh grave.

_Clinton Francis Barton_

_Beloved father and hero_

_Soul of the Avengers_

“I’m going to miss him,” she whispers. And she feels Laura’s comforting hand on her shoulder.

“I know. We all will.”

* * *

“You sure you want to put the Stones back?”

“Positive.”

Steve frowns thoughtfully.

“What about Thor’s hammer then?”

“I’ve already given him the Pym Particles. Bruce and I think that the closure will help him move forward.”

There’s a brief pause, before Steve nods. They bask in a familiar companionable silence before he speaks again.

“You know, now that we’ve defeated Thanos-twice-” He cuts himself off with a sigh. “I can’t help but wonder what we’re going up against next.”

She furrows her brows at the sight of his worried expression.

“Hopefully a just few stray gangs here and there who’ve gotten hold of the wrong tech. The world isn’t always out to get us, you know.”

“I know, but- I just feel like I’ve been fighting non-stop my whole life. Against illnesses, bullies… in World War II. And just when I thought it was all over, there’s an alien invasion, HYDRA’s revival, Ultron, the Accords. Thanos.”

She places a gentle hand on his arm.

“I know. Everyone here- they’ve all been, one way or another. But- Tony’s retiring to be with his family, Bruce is taking a break because of his arm, Thor’s also taking a break and Clint…” Natasha breaks off and looks back at Steve. “What I’m saying is, you can stop. If you want to.”

“I- but what about you?”

“Not important right now. I’m asking what _you_ want.”

He averts his gaze.

“I don’t know if I can drag myself out of the fight.” He purses his lips. “I don’t think I know how to either.”

Natasha sighs.

“Honestly? Me neither. But… I don’t think I did too bad at directing the Avengers.”

He looks back at her, and she feels warmth in her chest when she sees that the spark has returned to his eyes.

“No. You were amazing.”

She feels her lips twitch upwards.

“And I don’t think you did too bad as a group therapist either. Though I won’t mind if you help me out every now and then.”

Steve smiles back.

“You know what? I’ll think about it.”

* * *

1970, Camp Lehigh.

It feels nostalgic to be on an infiltration mission again. All she needed to do was grab hold of the female uniform, and then it was it was all disappointingly easy.

One down, three to go.

*

2012, New York.

The Ancient One takes one look at the Stone Natasha is holding out, and smiles.

“Ah, so you won, I take it?”

Natasha nods.

“Thank you for lending it to us.”

“A pleasure,” the Ancient One says, and replaces the Time Stone on her necklace. It glows a bright green for a few breathtaking seconds before the eye of the necklace closes shut.

Natasha shifts the suitcase in her grip.

“I think I better return the others.”

The Ancient One inclines her head.

“All the best to you and your timeline.”

*

2012, New York.

It’s chaos.

Within the five minutes that Natasha has entered Stark Tower, she learns that Loki had escaped with the Tesseract and SHIELD is panicking over the missing Scepter.

Truth be told, she isn’t entirely sure how to return the Mind Stone. Tony and Rocket had destroyed the stick during the extraction, and all that’s left is the Stone itself. 

She thinks about Wanda, Vision and Pietro- as much as she loathes the idea, she knows she must leave it in HYDRA’s possession. 

One stolen security uniform later, she slips the Mind Stone into Secretary Pierce’s pocket.

Hopefully the timeline is still salvageable.

*

(Later, Thor tells her that he got another glimpse of Jane, Loki and his old friends again. That he got to have one final talk with his mother. She can see the new life in him, in the determination glowing in his eyes and the confidence surging through his steps. 

She sighs in relief. Bruce was right.

Thor thanks her and squeezes her in a hug so tight that almost pops her ribs. And he tells her that he wants to be a part-time Avenger from that moment on.

But a full-time King of Asgard.

“Just so the Avengers will still have someone as strong as me, I’d like Valkyrie as my replacement.”

“Is she interested?”

“Of course she’ll be interested!”

“... Did you even ask her?”

“I will! And I know she’ll say yes.”)

*

2014, Morag.

Natasha steps over Quill’s unconscious body puts the Power Stone back into the Temple Vault.

She punches in the coordinates to Vormir and sits down stiffly on the pilot’s seat.

Only one to go.

*

2014, Vormir.

Natasha hands the Soul Stone back to its Keeper.

And wakes up.

She’s lying in a shallow lake as cold and unforgiving as the rest of Vormir. The warm red sky greets her when she gets up. She turns around, leaving quiet splashes in her wake as she searches for… 

Someone she doesn’t find.

_An everlasting exchange._

She clenches her fists. Steve’s stubbornness must be rubbing off on her, because she stays and waits.

And waits.

And waits, until the quiet splashes peter off into silence.

Still nothing.

She’s just about to fix the date and time on her spacetime GPS when she suddenly hears quiet splashing from behind her.

A familiar voice calls out.

“Nat?”

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [tumblr](http://aphrodaisyacs.tumblr.com/) :)


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